I Dreamed I Was Judas Iscariot

I had a dream. I dreamed I was Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus. In my dream I sat at the table with Jesus and His followers--the table of the last supper they shared together in celebration of the ancient Jewish passover. I dreamed that Jesus handed me a large piece of bread.

I shrugged back. After all, I didn't want to be Judas or have any connection with him. I am no Judas. A Peter perhaps, who would deny I knew Jesus, but not a Judas. As I hesitated, Jesus encouraged me to eat the bread, so I very cautiously ate it. Then I awoke, very shaken.

I cried, "O Lord, what have I done? What sin are you trying to bring to my attention? I have been trying very hard to be a good Christian. I attend church every week, I read my Bible, I visit the sick and needy, I give my tithes to the church, and I pray at least sometimes. Whatever I have done, I have not been responsible for your death as Judas was by accepting 30 pieces of silver. I don't understand this dream Lord."

Then I prayed, "Lord, please show me what this all means." In a flash I saw a picture of the depth of sin in all mankind. The very pride I was feeling because I was not a Judas is the most dangerous sin of all because, if we have pride, we fail to acknowledge our sin. We compare ourselves to those whom we think have fallen into deeper sin. The only people Jesus condemned were the self-righteous religious Pharisees. I had become a Pharisee in thinking I do all the right things.

I too have betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. The silver I received was much more than that, but as I was more concerned about making money than learning about Jesus, I have had my part in His death. Had I not used so much of my life in building up a bank account, I would have had more time to give to others and help Him live in their hearts. By not helping to increase His Spirit in others, I have cut off His life in the world. I have crucified Him.

I have not developed a close communion with Him in prayer. This requires a discipline which I was not prepared to develop. A prayerless life is a powerless life but, as with Judas, Satan did a great job of convincing me of his lies.

Satan told Judas to give Jesus into the hands of the high priests; Satan told me Jesus didn't hear prayers and didn't care about me. Satan also told me the gift of tongues was foolishness, and thereby kept me from using the gift Jesus had given me to dispel the work of the evil one. Satan always tells me I haven't time to read my Bible and develop a relationship with Jesus.

I am guilty. I have broken God's laws at every turn--and very often the 30 pieces of silver have been responsible. The very minute I think I have become a `good Christian' is the very moment I have fallen to my lowest, and only Christ's death on the cross can rectify it.

As I reach out to take the bread, the entire meaning of the Christian faith flashes before me. I reach out my blood-stained hands as the vilest Judas, but the bread Jesus hands to me is no longer the bread of the Passover feast, but is now a representation of His own body which was broken for me that my life of utter hopelessness might be turned into peace and joy. I am a redeemed person because He died for me to save me while I was still a sinner.

Every person has had a share in the crucifixion since "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom.3:23). There is not one perfect, no not one. Only by the refining fire of the Holy Spirit and a total commitment to our Lord can we become "a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation" (I Pet.2:9)--a people saved by grace and empowered to save a world controlled by the Satan who controlled Judas.

When Judas realized what he had done, he went out and hanged himself, but Jesus has shown us we do not need to punish ourselves. We simply reach out and take from His hand the bread, whereby all our sin is cancelled, and drink the wine, His blood, which empowers us to live a new life.

Christ died for me that I might be made holy.