Happy Thoughts 7

 

 

GOD KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE AND HE'S GOT YOUR NUMBER!

By Ken Gaub (U.S.A.).

 

Do you believe that God not only loves you, but knows where you are and what you're doing every minute of the day? I certainly do after an amazing experience I had several years ago. At the time I was driving on 1-75 near Dayton, Ohio, USA, with my wife and children. We turned off the highway for a rest and refreshment stop. My wife (Barbara) and the children, went into the restaurant. I suddenly felt the need to stretch my legs, so waved them off ahead saying I'd join them later. I bought a soft drink and, as I walked toward a Dairy Queen, feelings of self pity enshrouded my mind.

 

I loved the Lord and my ministry, but I felt drained, burdened. My cup was empty. Suddenly the impatient ringing of a telephone nearby jarred me out of my doldrums. It was coming from a phone booth at a service station on the corner.

 

"Wasn't anyone going to answer the phone?"

 

Noise from the traffic flowing through the busy intersection must have drowned out the sound because the service station attendant continued looking after his customers, oblivious to the incessant ringing. "Why doesn't somebody answer that phone?" I muttered. I began reasoning.  "It may be important. What if it's an emergency?" Curiosity overcame my indifference.

 

I stepped inside the booth and picked up the phone. "Hello," I said casually and took a big sip of my drink.

The operator said: "Long distance call for Ken Gaub." My eyes widened, and I almost choked It took a moment to gain control of my babbling, but I finally replied, "Yes, he is here." Searching for a possible explanation, I wondered if I could possibly be on Candid Camera!

on a chunk of ice.

 

Swallowing hard, I said, "You're crazy!"

 

Then realizing I shouldn't speak to an operator like that, I added, "This can't be! I was walking down the road, not bothering anyone, and the phone was ringing . . . " "Is Ken Gaub there?" the operator interrupted, "I have a long distance call for him."

 

Still shaken, perplexed, I asked, "How in the world did you reach me here? I was just walking down the road, the pay phone started ringing, and I just answered it on chance. You can't mean me!"

"Well," the operator asked, "Is Mr. Gaub there or isn't he?"

 

"Yes, I am Ken Gaub," I said, finally convinced by the tone of her voice that the call was real.

 

Then I heard another voice say, "Yes, that's him, operator. That's Ken Gaub." I listened dumbfounded to a strange voice identifying herself. "I'm Millie from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania (USA). You don't know me, Mr. Gaub, but I'm desperate. Please help me."

 

"What can I do for you?" She began weeping. Finally she regained control and continued. "I was about to commit suicide, had just finished writing a note, when I began to pray and tell God I really didn't want to do this. Then I suddenly remembered seeing you on television and thought if I could just talk to you, you could help me. I knew that was impossible because I didn't know how to reach you, I didn't know anyone who could help me find you. Then some numbers came to my mind, and I scribbled the numbers down." At this point she began weeping again, and I prayed silently for wisdom to help her.

 

She continued, "I looked at the numbers and thought, wouldn't it be wonderful if I had a miracle from God, and He has given me Ken's phone number? I decided to try calling it. I can't believe I'm talking to you . . . Are you in your office in California?" I replied, "Lady, I don't have an office in California. My office is in Yakima, Washington (USA)."

 

A little surprised, she asked, "Oh, really, then where are you?"

 

"Don't you know?" I responded. "You made the call."

 

She explained, "But I don't even know what area I'm calling. I just dialed the number that I had on this paper."

 

"Ma'am, you won't believe this, but I'm in a phone booth in Dayton, Ohio!" "Really," she exclaimed. "Well, what are you doing there?" I kidded her gently: "Well, I'm answering the phone. It was ringing as I walked by, so I answered it."

 

Knowing this encounter could only have been arranged by God, I began to counsel the woman. As she told me of her despair and frustration, the presence of the Holy Spirit flooded the phone booth giving me words of wisdom beyond my ability. In a matter of moments, she prayed the sinner's prayer and met the One Who would lead her out of her situation into a new life.

 

I walked away from that telephone booth with an electrifying sense of our Heavenly Father's concern for each of His children. What were the astronomical odds of this happening? With all the millions of phones and innumerable combinations of numbers, only an All-knowing God could have caused that woman to call that number in that phone booth at that moment in time.

 

Forgetting my drink and nearly bursting with exhilaration, I headed back to my family, wondering if they would believe my story. "Maybe I'd better not tell this," I thought, but I couldn't contain it. "Barb, you won't believe this! God knows where I am!"

 

God also knows where you are. Place yourself in His hands, concentrate on knowing His will for your life, and He will never forsake or forget you.

 


 


 


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE

 

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

 

When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

 

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.

 

They always catch the second person.

 

You can't trust a dog to watch your food.

 

Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a Tic-Tac.

 

Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

 

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

 

 

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

 

Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

 

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

 

Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

 

If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.

 

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's acorn that held its ground.

My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

 

p.. One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

q.. God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will live forever.

 

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE;

1) You believe in Santa Claus

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You become Santa Claus.

4) You start to look like Santa Claus.

 

 

 


DO Y0U  BELIEVE IN GOD?

 

IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? OR SAY YES, I DO AND DIE STANDING UP FOR GOD?

 

(The following is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper (Author unknown)

 

There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot himself. The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

 


"I'M LEARNING" ~ by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words.

 

 

I've learned....

That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

 

I've learned....

that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

 

I've learned....

That being kind is more important than being right.

 

I've learned....

That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

 

I've learned....

That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

 

I've learned....

That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

 

I've learned....

That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

 

I've learned....

That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

 

I've learned...

That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

 

I've learned....

That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

 

I've learned....

That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

 


I've learned....

That love, not time, heals all wounds.

 

I've learned....

That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

 

I've learned....

That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

 

I've learned....

That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

 

I've learned....

That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

 

I've learned....

That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

 

I've learned....

That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

 

I've learned....

That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

 

I've learned....

That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

 

I've learned....

That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

 

I've learned....

That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

 

 


IMPORTANT RECALL NOTICE

 

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component, or heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in subsequent units.

 

This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-morality", or more commonly known as "S-I-N", as it is primarily symptomized by loss of moral judgement.

 

Some other symptoms are:

 

  A: Loss of direction

 

  B: Foul vocal emissions

 

  C: Amnesia of origin

 

  D: Lack of peace and joy

 

  E: Selfish, or violent behavior

 

  F: Depression or confusion in the mental component

 

The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory authorized repair and service, free of charge, to correct this SIN defect, at numerous locations throughout the world. The number to call for the recall station in your area is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

 

Warning: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction voids Manufacturers warranty, exposing the owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded!

 

For free emergency service, kneel and call on the name of "YESHUA" for prompt assistance at any location worldwide.

 

 



IS YOUR JAR FULL?

 

An expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz."

 

Then he pulled out a one gallon, wide mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?"

 

Everyone in the class said, "Yes."

 

Then he said, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?"

 

By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered.

 

"Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel.

 

Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"

 

"No!" the class shouted.

 

Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim.

 

Then he looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"

 

One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!" "

 

"No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all. "What are the 'big rocks' in your life?"

 

God; Your children; Your loved ones; Your education; Your dreams; A worthy cause; Teaching or mentoring others; Doing things that you love; Time for yourself; Your health; Your significant other. Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all. If you sweat the little stuff (the gravel, the sand) then you'll fill your life with little things you worry about that don't really matter, add you'll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big, important stuff (the big rocks). So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.

I stood in front of that big old fire hydrant as they flushed it out."

 

The lady came in and got him, and took him to a room and tucked him into a big old feather bed and pulled  the covers up around his neck and kissed him goodnight and turned out the lights. As he laid in the darkness and looked out the window at the snow coming down on that cold night he thought to himself, "John 3:16...I don't understand it, but it sure makes a tired boy rested."

 

The next morning she came back up and took him down again to that same big table full of food. After he ate she took him back to that same big old split bottom rocker in front of the fireplace and she took a big old Bible and sat down in front of him and she looked up at and she asked, "Do you understand John 3:16?"

 

He said, "No, Ma'am, I don't.  The first time I ever heard it was last night when the policeman told me to use it."

 

She opened the Bible to John 3:16 , and she began to explain to him about Jesus.  Right there in front of that big old fireplace he gave his heart and life to Jesus.  He sat there and thought, "John 3:16. I don't understand it, but it sure makes a lost boy  feel safe."

 

You know, I have to confess I don't understand it either, how God would be willing to send His Son to die for me, and how Jesus would agree to do such a thing.  I don't understand it either, but it sure does make life worth living.

 

                                                                                                                                          - Author Unknown

 

 

John 3:16-18:

 

16.    For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

17.    For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

18.    He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believes not is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

 

Jesus said, "if you are ashamed of me," I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Phil 4:13

 

 

 

My Day in Court

 

After living a "decent" life, my time on earth came to an end. The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what I thought to be a court house.

 

The doors opened and I was instructed to come in and have a seat by the defense table. As I looked around I saw the "prosecutor." He was a villainous looking gent who snarled as he stared at me. He definitely was the most evil person I have ever seen.

 

I sat down and looked to my left and there sat my lawyer, a kind and gentle looking man whose appearance seemed familiar to me. The corner door flew open and there appeared the judge in full flowing robes. He commanded an awesome presence as he moved across the room.

 

I couldn't take my eyes off of him. As he took his seat behind the bench, he said, "Let us begin."  The prosecutor rose and said, "My name is Satan and I am here to show you why this man belongs in hell."

 

He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things that I stole, and in the past when I cheated others. Satan told of other horrible perversions that were once in my life and the more he spoke, the further down in my seat I sank. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't look at anyone, even my own lawyer, as the Devil told of sins that even I had completely forgotten about.

 

As upset as I was at Satan for telling all these things about me, I was equally upset at my representative who sat there silently not offering any form of defense at all. I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had done some good in my life - couldn't that at least equal out part of the harm I've done?

 

Satan finished with a fury and said, "This man belongs in hell, he is guilty of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise.

 

When it was his turn, my lawyer first asked if he might approach the bench. The judge allowed this over the strong objection of Satan, and beckoned him to come forward. As he got up and started walking, I was able to see him in his full splendor and majesty. I realized why he seemed so familiar. This was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior. He stopped at the bench and softly said to the judge, "Hi Dad,"

and then he turned to address the court.

 

"Satan was correct in saying that this man had sinned, I won't deny any of these allegations. And yes the wage of sin is death, and this man deserves to be punished."  Jesus took a deep breath and turned to his Father with outstretched arms and proclaimed, "However, I died on the cross so that this person might have eternal life and he has accepted me as his Savior, so he is mine."

 

My Lord continued with, "His name is written in the book of life and no one can snatch him from me. Satan still  does not understand yet. This man is not to be given justice, but rather mercy."


As Jesus sat down, he quietly paused, looked at his Father and replied, "There is nothing else that needs to be done. I've done it all."

 

The judge lifted his mighty hand and slammed the gavel down. The following words bellowed from his lips... "This man is free. The penalty for him has already been paid in full. Case dismissed." As my Lord led me away, I could hear Satan ranting and raving, "I won't give up, I'll win the next one."

 

I asked Jesus as he gave me my instructions where to go next, "Have you ever lost a case?"

 

Christ lovingly smiled and said,

Everyone that has come to me and asked me to represent them has received the same verdict as you, PAID  IN  FULL.”

 

(Source: Melanie Jaquysh, Admin. Assoc., The University of Texas at Austin, Office of the Senior Vice President and Chief Financial Officer)